You think it’s bad when you show up to an event and someone else is wearing the same outfit as you? You know what’s even worse? Showing up to a Halloween party and seeing ten other people wearing the same costume. It’s so important to be original for Halloween for that very reason.
Want to be Lady Gaga? Okay. But don’t do the whole Old School Lady Gaga, with the hair-bow, Ray-bans, leotard, tights, and funky heels. Everybody and their gay friend Randy will be going as Old School Lady Gaga. How about you go as Lady Gaga, but with a twist?
How about Lady Gaga in her meat dress, but instead, use cooked meats? Say you are Lady Gaga after hitting the tanning bed too hard. For this costume, visit your grocer’s meat section and purchase as much flank steak as needed to cover your lady bits. Cook, and apply as needed (wait for the meat to cool after cooking!).*
Going with a boyfriend, and want to have the best couple’s costume? Forget going as Wills and Kate. Go as Prince Harry and Pippa!
For the Pippa costume, you must have mild to moderate skin damage from overuse of tanning beds. And having a nice butt is ideal, both in life and for the sake of this costume.
Wear a simple white drape-neck gown like this one from BCBGMAXAZRIA (but not necessarily this one, as it is a bit costly for a Halloween costume!):
Wear your hair in a half-updo with soft curls and white Baby’s Breath flowers pinned in.
And for the Harry costume, he sort of looked like Cap’n Crunch at the wedding, so shoot for that. Pin lots of medals and sashes to the costume.
And guys, if you are going to be Harry and your girlfriend is going to be Pippa, I should remind you to keep your eyes fixated inappropriately on her butt the whole time like the real Harry and Pippa.
Another great couples costume idea? Instead of going as Selena Gomez and her underage boytoy, Justin Bieber, you should go as Selena Gomez and Chris Hansen from Dateline: To Catch a Predator, lest people forget that technically, it is illegal for an 19 year old to date a 17 year old.
For the Selena costume, Girlfriend looked cute at the VMAs in her lacy black dress. Try to make that happen. Here’s a picture to go by:
This dress, by ASOS, is pretty dang close. Plus it’s super cute, so you can definitely wear this one again on a non-costume day.
Pin your hair back in a low, wavy bun to get the hair right.
Now, for the Chris Hansen costume. On Dateline: To Catch a Predator, he usually wore semi-casual collared shirts under a light jacket or sport coat with khakis.
You should probably be holding a pitcher of lemonade and/or a plate of cookies. You should also say, at some point to “Selena”/your girlfriend, “I’m Chris Hansen from Dateline NBC, why don’t you have a seat?”
If that costume doesn’t win you some sort of costume contest, then I don’t know what will! Knock ‘em dead, ladies! And Happy Halloween!
*Of course this was a joke. I do not think wearing cooked meat would make for a good costume. But it certainly would be original!